I’ve Hit A Wall
I’ve hit a wall. God has used CGA to bring up a bunch of things that I have been avoiding God in dealing with. It all blew up last week when, on Friday, my physical eyes started burning. It’s my symptom of extreme exhaustion.
But it was one of the most inconvenient times for it to be brought up. I was planning on going to a conference I was really excited about. But I couldn’t ignore my burning eyes.
And it wasn’t just the burning eyes. I felt empty in all the ways (mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually). I didn’t care about anything. I hit a level of exhaustion that I, thankfully, don’t often experience. But when I do, it’s a huge red flag. I have to make some drastic changes or I’m going to really suffer.
So I took a break. Ugh, I hate having to take breaks. It makes me feel so weak. However, God says it’s strong. So I took a break.
Friday night, I tried to play it really low and just watch a movie. I usually do things as I watch movies; it’s multi-tasking at its finest. But I just sat there. It was difficult.
But the rest of the weekend was where the big breaks came. I spent two days primarily alone. I thought it would make me depressed. But I was already empty and those two days were what it took to fill me back up.
It was difficult. I felt anxious at times, but peaceful most others. I got really creative, did things very slowly, and sometimes just sat and stared at the sky. These were all things that my heart needed to fill back up.
But they were challenging to accomplish.
That doesn’t mean they aren’t necessary. The easy things aren’t always the best things.
Personally, I have never been disappointed from picking the more challenging option. Even if the challenging thing is as simple as sitting. There’s growth in those moments that I would never trade.
I hope you feel the same and continue choosing challenges that will lead you closer to Jesus.
Don’t give up, but instead, take heart.
